TubbyTerror: The Movie
by beautyfrompain
Summary: Summary: When an insane and unusually violent Japanese girl finds herself transported to TellyTubby Land, hilarity, chaos, and insanity ensues. Will the Tellytubbies survive? With Kimi-moko lurking around? Unlikely. Warning: Crack. Not for children. OOC.


**A/N: Okay, to all the people who know my other works, I owe you an explanation. Okay, so this was just a random idea that popped into my head a few days ago. I decided to write this on random. This is most definitely not serious. AND THIS IS NOT FOR LITTLE KIDS. I'm serious. Anyway, its about this very insane and violent girl who finds herself transported to TellyTubby Land. Somewhat crack. I'm not even sure if they have Tellytubbies in Japan ...**

**Also, I have nothing against Japanese people. I simply picked Kimi-moko (yes, I made up that name) to be Japanese by random. So I'm not implying in any way that Japanese people** **are insane. Or unnaturally violent. Or especially different in any other kind of way.**

**In this fic, Tellytubbyland is written as TellyTubby Land or the TubbyWorld. And the Tubbytronic Superdome is referred to as the TellyTubby Lair or the Tubby Lair. Mostly because I haven't watched the show in about five years and my memory was very limited until I looked the show up again on Wiki (which I trust) for reference. Also, the Tellytubbies at times appear to be unusually intelligent. They are most definitely OOC.**

**So if you're actually willing to try this out, move on ahead. **

**OOOOO**

**Summary: When an insane and unusually violent Japanese girl finds herself transported to TellyTubby Land, hilarity, chaos, and insanity ensues. Will the Tellytubbies survive? With Kimi-moko lurking around? Unlikely. Not for children.**

**OOOOO**

_In a land far, far away ..._

Or in other words, Tokyo, Japan.

The rainy streets outside Kimi-moko's house bustled with people. She would have rather been outside with her friends as well, to be honest. But no, she was stuck inside with her three year old little brother, Yasuo.

"Come, little one," she coaxed. Coaxing wasn't exactly her thing. When Yasuo continued to play, Kimi-moko instantly dropped the sweet act.

"I SAID COME, YASUO!" She roared. Yasuo started to sniffle and looked like his feeling were quite hurt, but did not cry for two reasons. One; he was pretty used to this. His sister did this all the time. Second; who knew what the girl would do if he started to actually _cry_? No, his best option was to be obedient.

Poor child.

Kimi-moko was, obviously, a quite unusually violent girl whose mentality was bordering on mildly insane at the moment. She often had to take care of Yasuo, not that she wanted to.

The fourteen year old took her brother by the hand and led him to the television.

"Tellytubbies or Boobas?" Kimi-moko asked as she flipped it on and flipped through the channels.

"TELLYTUBBIES!" Yasuo yelled excitedly.

"Well, they are slightly better than Boobas," the girl muttered to herself as she flipped to the correct channel. She winced slightly as the theme song came on.

_Tinky Winky ..._

_Dipsy ..._

_Laa Laa ..._

_Po!_

"I didn't say they were interesting," she said under her breath. But, as his name suggested, Yasuo was easy to please. Convinced that her job was done for the moment, Kimi-moko picked up her manga and a piece of nearby sushi. She chewed it for a moment before swallowing.

"Good sushi."

And she ate another one. And another.

Suddenly, there was a flash of blinding light, and all sounds melted away into a sort of white noise. Then, the light and noise stopped, and everything was unnaturally quiet. Kimi-moko looked up from her manga to find that she was surrounded by white.

And by white, it wasn't all-white-room white, but a curiously endless white that stretched in all directions. The only breaks in the white where portal-like holes in the air. Or so it seemed, with no walls. Kimi-moko looked around her, her manga temporarily forgotten.

"Hello? Anyone here?"

Obviously not, since no one could be seen it the expanse of white. The Japanese girl walked up to the nearest portal and stuck her head in, which was not at all smart. Who in their right mind sticks their heads into mysteriously appearing portals? But remember, Kimi-moko was bordering mildly insane. She most definitely was _not _in her right mind. So instead of safely pulling her head out, the portal sucked her whole body in, headfirst.

And so when Kimi-moko fell, she fell on her butt. Don't bother asking how; she just did.

"Ooooow," she moaned. "Where the fuck am I?"

"You're in TellyTubby Land!" a group sang. She turned toward the annoying welcomers. And, lo and behold, they were those weird happy-flowers that grow in abundance on TellyTubby Land.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight," she drew out the word, apparently unconvinced. That was, until, she looked up.

Right at that cute little Baby-Sun giggling and gurgling its way across the sky. Then the Baby-Sun caught Kimi-moko staring at it, and abruptly stopped its giggling in order to stare back.

*ultimate stare-down, complete with that weird western music and a tumbleweed, which under no logic should be in the lush fields of TellyTubby Land*

Then, that Tellytubby named Po randomly ran across the fields, breaking the staredown with his cries of, "THE SKY IS FALLING!"

Po kept up his screaming, until Kimi-moko shot him with random black-white laser beams that came out of her eyes, a talent that she had just now acquired in TellyTubby Land. After that, Po was fried.

Looks like looks could kill, after all.

Then the Sun-Baby started to cry. It was a baby, after all. Though don't ask me how a sun crying tears works.

"Oh, shut up," Kimi-moko snapped. "Or I'll kill you, too."

The Sun-Baby promptly shut up and went to find a cloud to hide behind.

Even the Sun-Baby knew that with Kimi-moko, things would not end well.

**OOOOO**

_Meanwhile ..._

Back in the TellyTubby underground lair, Tinky Winky was playing a video game. Barney, to be exact. Tinky Winky was putting all his concentration into learning his ABC's, hardly even paying attention to the Tubby Toast and Tubby Custard set beside him, when the timer sounded, and red words crossed the screen.

_I love you, you love me ... sorry, but you LOST!_

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tinky Winky started to weep. "I lost The Game!"

Laa Laa came into the room with a half-eaten piece of Tubby Toast in hand. The Tellytubby tutted disappointedly.

"You know what that means ..."

Tinky Winky looked up from his position (banging his triangle-topped head against the cold, hard floor, in case you were wondering) to send a pleading, tear-stained look up at Laa Laa.

"PLEASE, NO! NOT THE NAUGHTY CORNER!"

Laa Laa shook his head. "No, unfortunately, Dipsy's in the Naughty Corner."

Tinky Winky sighed in relief. "Oh, good."

But Laa Laa was not finished yet. "So, I introduce to you ..." here the TellyTubby pulled back the curtain hiding corner of the room. "NAUGHTY CORNER THE SECOND!"

Tinky Winky was in such a state of horror and shock that all he could do was produce a pathetic whimper and stare at the new device of TellyTubby Torture.

"Complete with a straitjacket and that Electric Chair that came last Monday!" Laa Laa explained gleefully. "And you'll be the first to try them out!"

Dipsy's mutterings of, "I'm glad I'm not in _that _corner" could be heard from across the room.

"B-b-b-but The Electric Chair could k-k-k-kill me!" Tinky Winky finally stuttered out.

Laa Laa rolled his eyes. "You and I both know that Tellytubbies don't actually die. They simply disappear, then reappear a few seconds later!"

"But it'll still hurt!"

"That's the point, Tinky Winky. You know you need to master that game ..."

So after a few moments Tinky Winky had been forced into the straitjacket, then the Electric Chair.

"Now, this won't hurt a bit," Laa Laa lied.

"You spurt lies like a fountain!" Tinky Winky spat at his fellow Tellytubby.

Laa Laa shrugged nonchalantly. "Maybe so. But at least I mastered The Game, so there!"

And with that, Laa Laa threw the switch, and Tinky Winky was enveloped with cackling electricity.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The Tellytubby's screams eventually died away, and the room acquired a stench akin to burnt barbecue. A quick look toward the burnt body confirmed it: Tinky Winky was fried. Then the body faded away into thin air, leaving the stench behind. A few seconds later, a previously dead Tinky Winky appeared behind Laa Laa.

"What'd I miss?"

"Ah, there you are. Well, in you go again."

"WHAT?!"

"You need to learn your lesson, Tinky Winky," Laa Laa said gravely.

And so the poor creature was stuck in again. Soon it was time for Laa Laa to again flip the switch.

"CUURSSE YYOOOOUU BBBBAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Tinky Winky had just again come back to life when thunder rumbled in the distance, rain pouring down upon TellyTubby Land. Then, lightning flashed, and all the lights in the TellyTubby Lair went out.

"Hey, I didn't know a thunderstorm was going on!" Dipsy exclaimed from the Naughty Corner (the first). Lightning flashed again, lighting up the lair and showing a very creepily appearing Kimi-moko.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" The scared Tellytubbies screamed with terror. A floor light lit up just under the Japanese girl's face, giving it eerie special effects.

"Why hello there, my dear Tellytubbies."

Kimi-moko walked leisurely toward Tinky Winky, Laa Laa, and Dipsy, the floor lights lighting up one by one in front of her as she did. "How lovely that you all happen to be in the same place at the same time ..."

"P-p-p-p-p-please d-d-don't h-h-hurt us!" Laa Laa stammered, backing into a corner (but not the Naughty Corner).

Kimi-moko threw back her head and laughed evilly. "MWUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Then she used her magical black-laser-power thingamajig and shot Laa Laa down. Sadly, this black-laser-thingamajig defied all of the happy laws of the TubbyWorld, and killed all Tellytubbies for all of eternity, which is why Po had not come back to life by now.

And again the smell of horribly burnt barbecue invaded the custard-y smell of the TellyTubby Lair.

And then Tinky Winky ran.

He ran out of the TellyTubby Lair, and across the fields of wet green grass and happy-flowers. He passed the sun, hiding remorseful behind a raincloud that it had not tried to give Kimi-moko sunstroke while it had the chance. He just kept running and running until he came upon a magically appearing red building. He stopped in awe. It was almost prettier than the TellyTubby lair!

STAPLES, letters read in white across the top of the front.

"Ooh, Stah-pels!" He exclaimed, running into the building. Of course, it was entirely stupid to run into any old magically appearing building.

But Tellytubbies did tend to be quite stupid.

**OOOOO**

Kimi-moko pondered what to do as Tinky Winky ran out of the lair and Dipsy curled into a fetal positions, rocking back and forth.

"Baaaaaaarnnnney is aaaaaa dddiiiiiiinnnnnoooooossssssaaaauuuurrrrr from our iiiiiimmmmaaaaaagggggiiiiiiiiinnnnnaaaatttttiiiiiiiiiooooonnnnnnn," the creature sang in a feeble, quiet voice. He didn't sound at all sane, not that Kimi-moko would know anything about that. She was bordering on mildly insane herself, after all.

_Hmm, _she thought gleefully to herself. _Didn't take much to break that one. _Of course she had no idea what the effects of the Naughty Corner could do to someone...

So, leaving the green Tellytubby in his broken state, she ran after Tinky Winky. As she came outside the Tubby Lair, she didn't see him, so she consulted the happy-flowers.

"Tell me where Tinky Winky went, or I _will _make it rain acid on you!"

Of course, the TubbyWorld happy-flowers hated acid rain, so the quickly told her.

"THAT-a-way!"

And so Kimi-moko went 'THAT-a-way' until she came upon the magically appearing STAPLES. She stopped at the building, because she was confused, as anyone would be to find a STAPLES in TellyTubby Land.

"STAPLES?" She wondered. "In the TubbyWorld? Why do I have this general feeling of 'what the fuck'?"

But despite her general feeling, she ran into the store that was apart of one of the wold's largest office retail store chain.

She found Tinky Winky trying to hide behind one of the checkout counters, playing with a hand held pencil sharpener. Or, more accurately, trying to stick one of his furry little fingers into the pencil hole. The Tellytubby looked up when he felt a shadow over him.  
"Must all Tellytubbies be so stupid?" Kimi-moko asked, exasperated. "Here." She stuck a nearby pencil into the hole. Tinky Winky looked on in awe as the sharpener made that little mechanical sound.

"Oooooooooh..."

"See?" She set the pencil and sharpener down. "_That's_ how to do it."

"Oh."

Then the Tellytubby realized exactly who he was supposed to be running from. This was about the time when the Japanese girl pulled out her black-laser thing.

And so, once more, the purple Tellytubby ran.

Kimi-moko chased his around the store, through the aisles, around printers, through binders and printer papers. Soon, she caught up with the creature and managed to exterminate Tinky Winky not by her laser but in a very unusual but creative way: using a pair of scissors, a purple Sharpie, a stick of glue, a mini stapler, a fold-in ruler, a broken protractor, and a black Mega Binder.

We'll just leave you with that bit and your imagination...

**OOOOO**

Dipsy broke out of his trance and screamed in terror as Kimi-moko did that creepy appearing thing again.

"Now you," the Japanese girl said. "The last living Tellytubby. What to do, what to do..."

"Please!" Dipsy pleaded, getting onto his knees. "Let me go free!"

She turned to the creature sharply. "Shut up, Tipsy!"

"It's _Dipsy_!"

"Tipsy, Dipsy, what's the difference?"

He didn't bother to point out the difference.

"Anyway, give me one good reason why I should let you go?" She continued.

Dipsy thought. "Well, Tellytubbies _are _better than Boobas."

"Not good enough!"

And as Kimi-moko lost her thin, thin bit of patience, she lifted her her black laser into an arc, coming down directly on Dipsy's head.

But before the laser could properly use its special incineration effects, there was another flash of blinding light.

**OOOOO**

Kimi-moko sat up from her place on the couch with a gasp. After her disorientation faded away, she realized that she was still in her house with her brother, Yasuo, and Tellytubbies was just going off. She stared dumbly into space as the Tellytubbies said their goodbyes.

"Bye-bye!"

"Bye-bye!"

"Bye-bye!"

"Bye-bye!"

"Bye-bye!"

"Bye-bye!"

"Bye-bye!"

"Bye-bye!"

"Bye-bye!"

"Bye-bye!"

"Bye-bye!"

"Bye-bye!"

"Why must they all say goodbye three times?" the Japanese girl muttered to herself.

The previous happenings must have all been a dream, she concluded.

Then she felt the horrible stomachache coming on.

And apparently, the dream had been a product of bad sushi.

Though it would have been nice to let loose on one of those queer little monsters...

**OOOOO**

Much later, as the Tellytubbies ran throughout the green pastures of TellyTubby Land, chasing magical pinwheels and watching real-life kiddies on their telly-bellies, Po stopped and turned to Laa Laa.

"Laa Laa, something seems off," he stated, looking at the Sun-Baby thoughtfully.

"I know what you mean," Laa Laa said. "I vaguely remember being killed by a magical lightning-laser thing. And unimaginable violence. And a Tinky Winky clad in a straitjacket being forced into an Electric Chair, all of which defy the laws of TellyTubby Land."

"I remember an unusually violent Japanese girl whose mentality was bordering on insane," Po stated. "What could it all mean?"

Laa Laa tried to ponder this conundrum, but the thoughts were too big for his little, simple Tellytubby mind.

"Never mind it," he finally said. "We have Tubby Custard to eat!"

And so the two oblivious Tellytubbies skipped after their Tellytubby friends into the Baby-Sunset.

**OOOOO**

**THE END  
OOOOO**


End file.
